i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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