apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
