You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
