I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
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