You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Randomize
