so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Where are you guys?
Drunk
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
