make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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