but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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