So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Randomize
