is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
