Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
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You did a strip tease for the toilet.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
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So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
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