Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Randomize
