He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
