some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
