I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Just puked most of my soul out..
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
Randomize
