her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
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It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
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yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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