I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Randomize
