It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
