pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Randomize
