we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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