Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Can I color on your dick again?
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
