to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
This is my gift to your gina
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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