farters have to be the big spoon...
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Randomize
