if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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