You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Randomize
