turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
