is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
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