It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Randomize
