gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
