I'd wear matching sweaters with you
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Randomize
