I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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