a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
I forget how to act sober
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