You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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