Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Found the puke drawer
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
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