Why does Corona taste like a burp?
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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