yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
someone owes me an orgasm
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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