You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
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