Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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