Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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