You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
