And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
