Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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