Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
