ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
My feet surprised me
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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