You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I need water and some morals
Randomize
