Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
