I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I'm bleeding and have questions
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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