Whod you bang
I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
