my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
