My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
