You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
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