I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
