My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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