My boss' voice literally gives me gas
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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