And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
if only i could text you this smell
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Randomize
