Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
