honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
