Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Randomize
