i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
