Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
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