just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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