Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
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