just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
